Pain and Triumph for
Children of Divorce

Children of divorce are at higher risk for divorce than children of intact families. You would think that this would deter the younger generation from matrimony, but findings show that generation Y is more motivated than ever to get married and stay married. We as a culture should do everything we can to help them meet this goal. Our churches can do much to help these young married hopefuls stay married for a lifetime.

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What is
Romantic Love?
As marriage counselors who work with a great many hurting couples on a daily basis, we are surprised at how little engaged couples think about the marriage.  They get so busy buying the dress, renting the tuxedos, designing the cake, preparing the ceremony that often times the marriage relationship gets put on the back burner.  Sometimes just mentioning pre-marital counseling to the blissful bride- and groom-to-be elicits a somewhat dumbstruck response.  “But we’re so happy,” they say as they look affirmingly into each other’s eyes.  “How could anything go wrong?”  At that point our realism kicks in and we want to say, “Just give it time, sister, something will go wrong.”  Why will it go wrong? because that blissful feeling won’t last forever.

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How to Control Your Anger in Conflict Situations All married couples have conflict. These skirmishes can take on many forms. Some end in a stalemate between spouses where one or both are stonewalling or withdrawing while others can become heated and this anger causes them to say things that they later regret.  But what about those fights that end in some type of verbal, emotional or even physical abuse? This abuse can make it difficult for couples to recover. Trust is eroded and intimacy is thwarted. It is hard to believe that abuse like this can occur in families, yet research shows that 1 in 6 couples in America experience some type of violence. Even very loving couples can fall prey to verbal and physical abuse.

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How to Develop Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage Early in our marriage we realized that our busy schedules, the demands of parenting, and the heaviness of hearing other people’s pain caused us to somewhat dry up spiritually.  It was hard enough for us to maintain our spiritual center individually, much less, as a couple.  This drought created distance and a sense of disconnection between Tom and I, which eventually led to a power struggle.  We had disputes over seemingly insignificant things, which were blown out of proportion.  This caused a breach of trust between us.  Little did we know that our problem was rooted in our spiritual dryness.

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The GIFT Exercise: Helping Couples Understand their Frustrations with
Each Other
Relationship experts say that most fights are not what they seem to be about. The chronic conflict over your husband cleaning up his crumbs from the counter top is really not about the crumbs at all.  There is a deeper root.  As a couple we did not know how to get in touch with what those deeper roots were.  This dilemma led us to develop an exercise designed to help us get in touch with what is underneath our anger in marital spats.

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